Whimper...

The first thing I noticed this morning, before I was fully awake, was that my stomach hated me. A lot. With all of the stretching I did, the muscles were still tighter than my grip on the bottle of ibuprofen after I managed-- I think it took me a full 10 minutes-- to pull myself out of bed. my morning went something like this:

Rolling onto side to slam evil alarm into silence. Pain. Noise. Must stop. Arm.. Ow.. SLAM! Ahh.. Stretch. Ow. Ow. Ow. No more stretching. Remember all of the snow waiting to be shoveled. Cry a little. Try sitting up. Not happening. Try pushing self into upright position. Ha! Nice try. Not gonna happen either. Attempt a slight rocking motion, hoping momentum will carry the upper body into an upright position. Ow. Stomach doesn't like that. Rock the other way in an attempt to roll out of bed. Bang head on side table. Lay back and rethink position. Think about calling children in to lift self into upright postion. Imagine how gleefully the little demons would torture you in their attempt to "help". Stay silent. Grunt through the pain and force self out of bed. This, of course, takes a while, but-- yay!-- upright. Ease feet into slippers and head off to the bathroom.

Big mistake. Wonder if the sink will come out of the wall if used to pull self off of the toilet. Sink holds! Feeling better. Loosening up. Decide to throw on sports bra for yoga after shoveling. Laugh grimly at own masochistic tendencies. Wrestle with bra, throw it aside, put on an easier sports bra. After sliding into the "kinda snug; except when I sit, then very snug" jeans and realize that they aren't so snug anymore. Determined to do yoga later. Slowly get everything on and look at clock. Notice that it took a half hour to get dressed. Grab a shovel and head out.

Eye the snow and say a quick prayer of thanks to the god of snowblowers. Make pretty quick work of driveway and sidewalk. Feeling the burn in the arms. Shovel stairs. Ta da! Not so bad. Only took an hour. Which, compared to everything else this morning, seems downright speedy. Head inside, stuff face, steam face, shove kids outdoors to play in snow, curse the school for closing and settle down for yoga.

Get attacked by cat who wants to be pet now. Shoo cat away. Repeatedly. Also shoo kids away. Repeatedly. Try to block out whining children while in relaxation (or corpse) pose. Play dead. Pray children and cat go away. Growl until they do. Not relaxed at all. Sigh and start making lunch.